Wifey...Alene...I guess I really can't give her up..even though after thinking for so long and getting jealous over so many things, I decide to just give up and send her the 'break up' sms, only makes me regret more and wanting her more. After she saw my sms, she replied and even though I insisted, and tried to be harsh, she just wouldn't give me up. She called me 10 over times with me cutting the line and she never gave up. Then I silent the phone cause it was too noisy and left it alone, she still gave me 10 over miss calls, being soft, I answered and she didn't even scream at me. *sigh*
Nicely, she asked me what happened and all, and even try to explain things to me, hong me and let me decide if that's what I really wanted. Once again, I gave in to my heart rather than my mind. I just couldn't do it..after talking, listening and abit of arguement for over 1hour on the phone, I just gave in. Yes, I agree and I don't deny the fact that I'm an attention seeker..I'll do anything and everything just to gain her attention..but sometimes I just get the opposite. =( Perhaps now I'll just try to take things slow and let her do her stuffs..once her beautiful lie is over, I hope the truth will come out.
I'm still feeling the insecurities inside of me...and I swear this isn't anything good. Its totally driving me crazy with jealousy. From past experiences from past relationships, I lost trust in people..and I guess I should start to learn how to trust again..even though it hurts. Now, I'm not gonna find you anymore till you wana find me. Seriously, I think I'm talking big again, I'm bound to go find her first. *shrugs*