work work work. All I've been doing recently is just work. =\ Now, I'm sick. *shrugs* Oh well...looking on the bright side, I'll be receiving a fatter payroll. Sat at work was hell for me. Sneezing non stop at the bar and tearing away. =( It was so darn terrible and time went by so slowly. *sadz* closing was screwed cause of some bimbotic arse that didnt even check stuffs and then do closing. *grumbles* Whatever. I couldnt care less since it aint my fault. Came home and couldn't sleep. *sighz* So what if I got a free ride home even faster than transport. Reached home cant sleep, then online stone, watched tv. Slept only around 1+ in the noon only to find myself awake shortly after 3hours. =\ Super tired. Stoned till I was ready to go for the company chalet only to find Apple and Sam flying my kite last min again. Super no mood and pissed off. Nvm. Sam's sick..so doubt Apple will go too..so ended up rot at home till wifey said she dun wana stay home. So pulled her down Pasir Ris Park with me. Met up with Kenneth and Donald duck there for fishing. I brought luck to them lorz! They started at 7. Till 1+ also no fish till I came around 2, they got one in less den 10mins of my arrival. LoL. Then got a second one after half hour or so. Wifey was starting to get bored and moody, so I accompanied her walking around pasir ris. When we went back in the morning, they aint got any fish after that 2. =\ Sunrise was beautiful but it hurted my eyes. For once I thought I was going blind. Took a cab back to wifey's house for her to transfer pics from my hard disk then took a cab back home. *sighz* Passed by her house..the current one and the old one..then balcony. Felt a sudden pain and memories came rushing back. Smiling to myself looking back at the past...I realised, I've grown. Life goes on and time sort of helps to heal abit. Came home to find myself surrenderring to my bed. Home sweet home. -worn out totally-
Monday 21/05/07...Woke up..waited for wifey's call/sms. Pig. couldn't get her at all. Then went out to meet my family for dinner. Had some mini steamboat thingy. Aint that bad. =) Walked around while waiting for her then got myself comics to let time pass faster. Took a bus down Far East thinking of getting my bag but the shop JUST close. =( *sulks* super disappointed so took a bus down to East Coast from Lucky. *bus sick* Guess I must have things to keep me busy during long rides else I'll get car sick. *shrugs* Waited for wifey at Parkway Parade till she came to pick me up in a cab and to East Coast together. Couldn't get down to doing my stuffs as planned cause there were so many people!! =( Then we walked by the beach till so far out so far away from mac. Okie. Lucky I was prepared. That stupid bitch was thirsty after all that walk and wanted water when there's no shops around. Unless she didnt mind sea water, she could have it. Haha..Lucky I was prepared and got a bottle of mineral water. Sat down, rested and talked for awhile till I saw something and told her its time to go home. So we walked all the way back to mac again before taking a cab down to her place. Had breakfast at the kopitiam downstairs then I took a fucking freezing cold bus back home. *faints* I swear the air con can fight with Smoove's when its off operation hours. Shivering in the bus even though I had a jacket. =( Reached home and online. Eyes were popping out due to lack of sleep. My eyes are getting swollen. =\ Did some stuffs online and headed to bed.
Tuesday 22/05/07
Dragged myself out of bed cause I've gotta go back to work later. Roy said I'm looking much better now. Seemed to have cheered up a little. *shrugs* I'm not, but I have to. Hiding the real me behind the mask that I wear is all I can do now. Guess no one really understands me. Do they? Anyone? Tried to show everyone I'm alright, joked and enjoy myself at work real hard but it all boils down to one word - pretendence. Its just another 5days more to her big day. And I'm still lost at what to do. Still thinking if I should wish her and if I should pass her the present. Oh ya. Her dad called me yesterday. Asking me if I'm okie and all. Told me to go visit them when I'm free or call him and chat when I'm not working. Asked if I could bring him down to our workplace for a look and all. I don't mind visiting and all but I guess it'd only piss her off more hence I'm keeping my distance. I don't want anymore misunderstandings that I'm trying to please her parents so they would put in good words for me. Visiting them is more like a respect for taking care of me all the time while I was with her back then and not trying to get into their good shoes and patch things up from there. I've grown and understood that everything ended back there and then. Though I'm still holding on to that little frail of hope, I'm just deceiving myself more. "Don't you know its the end of the world? It ended when you said goodbye." I'm living in a world of lies, hurt and sorrows. Pull me up once again will you? Only you can heal this wound of mine. You would. Wouldn't you? I supposed its the latter. Pulling me up doesnt mean being back together. I just hope we could still be back like the past as friends talking, chilling, joking, going out together and all. But I guess its not possible anymore. *sighz* Its pointless for me to say anything more now too. You'll just get more irritated by it knowing you that well, that's for sure.