looking back...
one week ago..
13/05/07 Sunday
Was being pulled to have breakfast with Apple and Sam. Stupid Jie Ying was supposed to come along with Prada but they flew our kite. Ended up in town having breakfast at coffee club. Sat outside and smoked my life away while waiting for Apple and Sam to finish talking. Looking at her from afar was more than enough for me. I'm not stalking her, just happened to have breakfast there and looking back at some memories. Looking like some stupid fool, sitting alone smoking and smiling away to myself from looking at you at work from across the road. I guess I am. After the two lovebirds were done, we went in to have our breakfast. Really brings back sweet memories. =) After that, needed to go atm to check how much I've left and send Apple to the taxi stand on the way. Went pass her workplace, bumped into her bro, Jayden. Sat down and talked a little. Curious about what happened earlier at Kandi Bar. Never realised the time till I saw her coming down. =\ Tried not to bother, tried not to care. But yet the things she do, she does it on purpose. Wanting me to know something, yet it seems so untrue. Whatever it is, I know my heart, my mind, wouldn't change. Apple gave me a hug - a comforting one. =) Thanks gal. I know you care. But I'm perfectly fine. Like I said, however Zen treated me was how I treated her in some way. However I couldn't stand Zen is how she can't stand me now. I understand perfectly well how it feels for her too. Perhaps its karma, its retribution. Whatever it is, I won't take it that hard anymore. I'm still growing, and I will still grow. People become stronger because they have memories they cant forget. That's what you call growth. =)
14/05/07 Monday
Got called back to cannery to work today. *shrugs* Work and work. Been getting more work and lesser off days. Oh well..*roll eyes* at least its for my own good. *think of my pay cheque* I'm gonna get a much fatter pay cheque next month. =) No MC and no off days practically. Haha.. I'm driving myself crazy lately..and I suppose you know the reason why best. =) Its supposed to be a special day today..but I guess that doesn't matter anymore. At least 3 months ago, on this special day, I felt I was the happiest girl on earth. I guess that matters more. 2 months ago on this date, I felt everything was starting to piece up and mapping out my life. Everything seemed so perfect..my dreams are starting to come true. 1 month ago on this date, I think maybe I'm wrong, but then again, I was assured that I was thinking a tad too much. Now on this very day, I know what I've done wrong and what we lack most was communication and understanding. What we had most was misunderstandings and mistrust. I wish I could erase all of it and turn back the hands of time but I suppose I grew somehow after weeks without you being around by my side. Life goes on, thus, working my life away earning as much as I could.
15/05/07 Tuesday
Called back for work. Bored. Tired. Worn out. Stupid dumb event it was. After that wanted to go Cafe Del Mar de. But had to help out with cannery side. *sighz* I want go Cafe Del Mar lorx! Its hip hop RnB night!! And I can so see my guai tai lor! I miss her!! *arghz* Stupid Angeline. And I only had my first meal at 1+ in the middle of the night! zZz. Rushed to work for the stupid event and after event have to go straight to cannery side to help out. *faints* I'm so dying. If only I knew, I would have told them I couldn't make it back to work. =\ After closing, Farah and I monkeyed around in the cashier office. HaHa...We took lotsa pics. =) Compared to Del Mar...I don't think it'd be that fun, but at least I had my fun in the office too. Better than nothing. Only have the feeling that I might see her there, so I wanted to go down. But *shrugs* I guess its better off if I'm working than really bumping into her at Del Mar. Went home and finished up Naruto before hitting the sack. *yawnz*
16/05/07 Wednesday
Wee~ Worked at Smoove today. I'm loving it. =) Bump into like so many people?! Heez... that's why I love working at Smoove. Lalala~ Bump into long lost PL - Germaine!! HaHa.. and she couldn't regconize me. =\ Then there was tracy that used to be from clinic, ying jie (hui ying's bf) again, and so many others that I cant even remember. Guess I'm used to smoove. I don't even find it busy? =\ Guess MOS aint as busy as the past when it just opened. I'm starting to fall asleep at my counter. Perhaps its fatigue due to my lack of sleep? =\ Help out with the bar a little and bounced around abit so I could keep myself awake. =)
17/05/07 Thursday
Happy Birthday to my dad!! Okie. I may seem not to bother, not to care a hoot about anything about my family, but deep down inside, I do alot. Though I hardly talk to my dad nowadays, I still hope and wish good health for him, especially from the way he drinks and smoke. Still wondering whats so good about smoking. I went back to smoking, and only find myself poorer and with worse health. But I guess it helps me taking my time off thinking of her during breaks. Had my nails done then went for dinner at Shaw's Ship Restaurant. Okie. The place sucks, but the food aint that bad. At least whatever I ordered was nice. Then brought my whole family down to MOS. Brought my mom and sis in free. Brought her around and showed her my workplace so she would stop asking me how MOS look like. Too bad she never got to my favourite outlet - Smoove! then took her to cannery and after that parted ways with them after sending them to the bus stop. Waited for Chris and Ben(Chris's friend) to arrive and went Clinic to claim my bottle of Absolut Blue. =) Finished the whole bottle lor! and it was a new bottle somemore! *faints* They got me fucking high. Kept asking me to tar down the drinks. James was one of them! And even got me to drink that 151 shot. *grumbles* Oh well...I know they're just trying to get my mind off her and make me enjoy myself so I'm all game for it. At least I know I can trust Chris sending me home after all that drinking. After drinking at Clinic, we drove down geylang for dim sum. Didn't really eat much cause I was really gone. Then we drove Ben back home before Chris sent me home. Hey Hey..thanks for everything. Really tried enjoying myself and did enjoy myself alot though you said I didn't look like I was. I swear I wasn't thinking about her till some idert asked me about it. And not only till I was getting high, she was in my mind. =( But then again, I wouldn't mind another night like this. =) Its really fun. Heez.
18/05/07 Friday
Smoove members night! *cheers* I'm loving loving loving it. Hahaha... Finally got back to smoove members. Had a great night there. Joell boy boy was there too. And I got to do bar! *double cheers* I'm a happy girl. Not till this irritating customers kept pestering me at the bar and even knocked over a FULL glass of drink at my counter and made my counter flooded. Both the bar and I almost lost our cool and shout at him..and me, almost wanting to slap him and strangle him to death. *arghz* He's one pain in the neck. Chris didn't come down to meet boy boy as expected, and I guess boy boy's kinda disappointed. LoL. And it took her so long to find out that we used to be together. Now that we aren't, then she know. Haha...Kinda slow, but that's fine with me. Cause it doesn't matter to me who you are to the world, but it matters who you are to me. =)
19/05/07 Saturday
Happy Birthday to my 1st gf, Janson. Been like 5yrs since we broke but yet somehow, memories still remains. I've grown stronger thanks to these sweet memories and I'll continue growing from new ones. =) Darn bored at work today. Had to work at Bar 2 cause they wanted that Auntie to try and train her speed abit more so they threw her at smoove members. *grumbles* they could have just thrown her at main members what! But I guess cause they couldn't put the other one at Bar 2 also since the other girl at Bar 2 is also new. =\ Heard members was super slam pack today and it makes me darn sad can. Bar 2 was so boring lorx. I was like falling asleep and trying hard to keep myself awake lor. Closing was cocked up thanks to the new girl at members. =\ So all of us were held back during closing. *shrugs* By the time we came out, it was already daylight. *sighz* One more week..and I'm still thinking if I should. Guess perhaps I shouldn't. It would/might even be better. If I did, I'm afraid I would spoil everything.