Had a funny dream. Shant recall. There's some things I realised.

1. I'm in love with sad sad songs. =S
2. Its better not to visit friendster or people's blog and learn things you rather it was kept unknown.
3. Its better to maple alone than asking your friends to accompany you.
4. If I'm awake due to calls, sms or someone screaming, I can't sleep back.
5. I miss drinking, dancing, chilling out with my friends.
6. I miss all the cold lame jokes.
7. I miss you. Yes, you. But you'll never miss me. =(
8. If I write old grandmother stories in my blog, nobody bothers to read but just tag rubbish. =\
9. If I don't blog, people start complaining that I'm not blogging and flood my tag board.
10. That even if I'm gone for good, no one actually bothers. =(

Looking back at the points...yeah. I'm totally in love with sad sad songs. Good or bad, I don't know. All the sad love songs. Feeling depressed lately, and kinda short tempered. Flaring up over the littlest things. =S and that's not really me? Point 2. Things are better kept/left unknown. Now I know why I'm being ignored. He's got a new ger. Then again, I can't say that based on testimonials I saw. We aint even together in the first place, he's got his rights to flirt since he aint attached. Skipping point 3 first. Shall talk about point 3 later. Point 4. Like I said, Jor called and woke me up, now I can't sleep back so I'm freaking blogging since I refuse to maple. Feel like giving up on maple. Like what's the point anymore. Point 5 & 6. I miss chilling out, drinking, dancing and all the cold lame jokes, gossips with my friends. Those good ol' days. Where the hell is everyone? I know its my fault mapling all the time. But none of you bothered to find me out! NONE. No one at all. Reading your blogs about you guys going out and have fun and all seriously saddens me. Now get it why I rather stay home and maple when you guys finally called? I rather be kept in a closet. Lock me up. No access to anyone nor the world. Everything, every little secret will be kept within till I enter my coffin. Burry me face down so the world can kiss my arse good bye. And please do not shed a drop of tear when I'm gone. I want people to be happy and not sad. Its just another idiotic moron that left the Earth and went for a holi elsewhere. There's nothing to be sad about.

Point 7. I miss you. Yea, you. The whole bunch of you, whoever that reads this. YOU. and I do mean you. When the hell you wana ask me out again? I don't wana rot at home anymore. Yet I don't wana go out and see couples around and get more depressed. =( *sighz* I don't know what the fuck I what. Yea, yea. Fuck. That's what I want. LoLx. Life is sad, its all about sex. So lets get all sexed up and start fucking people around you. LoLz. Point 8 & 9. If I don't blog, people complain I don't blog and start flooding my tag board with things like "where the hell are you! I miss you!!" when they don't even mean a thing. Just miss the gossips that I write in my blog so they could gossip about me. "update lehz" & "update update~!" they just simple got nothing to do but to read your blog. (correct me if I'm wrong) "tagged." & "been here" simply means that they want their existence known. But sometimes it simply means there's nothing much to comment about that post. Just like what I always do to my son's blog. Son, like I mentioned in point 2, so I'm not gonna frequent blogs anymore. Will just read a post and tag. And refer to point 8. If I start writing old grandmother stories, no one's gonna read them. They will just see and go "wow, so lengthy. Shall just tag and write rubbish instead. At least she knows I've been here." and start tagging things not related to my post. Sometimes, I wonder what's my tag board for. I see others being flooded by friends, but mine seems to be there collecting spider webs. And even if people do tag, its just a mere few. People like Son, Jor, Fio, and now lemon. Who else I can't recall even if I try hard to think. To think that over at the old blog, there was her who would tag once in awhile, some nice unknown people leaving sweet prints, my ah kor, angel, daughter, Fel, and all. *shrugs* Oh wells...beats no one tagging. Point 10. If I'm gone for good, no one will remember nor know a thing too. Since no one contacts me anymore other than Jor. And perhaps my maple friends when I don't go maple anymore. Then when after I'm gone for so long, then they will realise and ask "where's Butter? how come so long never see her online liao? Anyone know where Butter went to?" No one can get the answer to those questions. Not even Jor I'd say. And not even myself. I feel like MIA-ing to the world. =(

Point 3. Back to point 3. Its better to maple and level my character alone than to get my friend to come and accompany me. Not cause I can level faster, not cause I don't wana share the drops, but cause of misunderstandings between my friend and his/her gf/bf. I love crowds. Love to be the center of attention. =x I'm an attention seeker. I love to be loved by everyone. Who doesn't? *sighz* How I wish we could all own a map and all my buddies can level together in the same map without any lag. I broke a couple up by asking my friend to join me to level by healing me as I kill. Aint that the fastest way too? He gets exp while healing me and while I'm killing. But his gf thinks otherwise. And I thought the gf was alright with me. =S I don't need two headed snakes anymore. Been backstabbed enough. If you so do not like your bf to heal me or level with me or find drops with me. Tell me so. I'm fine with it. I'll just get myself another cleric or level myself. He did nothing wrong, and why so a break up just cause you're jealous over the close maple friendship we have? Its good to be jealous but not all the time. I've learnt my lesson for that. Plus I heard you found higher cleric but anything more than just friends I so do not know. Told him you're just so not worthy of his love. The way I see him suffer and you don't even feel a thing, its so not worth it. How hard he tries to hunt/buy items for you and make you happy but its all not appreciated. How he tries to borrow my stuffs just to let you use it cause he can't hunt them nor afford them. Wake up girl. Don't cry over spilt milk in future. Learn to love and treasure what you have now. And to remind myself, I'm not gonna call anyone dear, dar or what-so-ever if I'm not being acknowledged back. It just seems like an idiot talking to herself and the other party's so enjoying it. Therefore, I hereby only have Jor as Dar, Jing as wifey, Kaya as son, Evilbean as dad, Angelbean as mom, ALWS as baobei, Sadrabbit as bee. No more others till I'm being acknowledge back. So Jor, there's nothing to be jealous about over Anti nor FirePheonix nor Lemon anymore. Like I always say. I love you the most. And if we ever go out, I'm gonna sell you away. *evil smirks*

...never be the same again